Speaking of Sex…
Posted by pozlife on June 27, 2006
POZ asked you, our HIV positive readers, how having HIV has affected your sex lives-delving into topics from disclosure to safer sex. Nearly a thousand of you (85% men, 14% women and 1% transgendered people) responded, revealing the innermost secrets of your behavior in the boudoir. Wonder how you measure up? Read on.
20% of you are straight, 70% of you are gay/lesbian and 10% of you are bisexual.
68% of you are single. If you’re in the market, try checking out POZ Personals on POZ.com.
The ties that bind
19% of you are in a committed, monogamous relationship, and 12% of you are in a non monogamous, open relationship. Positive men are more likely to be single than positive women (68% vs. 61%) and nearly twice as likely as women to be in non monogamous, open relationships. 53% of women have had just one sexual partner in the last 12 months, compared with 19% of men. Almost a quarter (24%) of the men have had more than ten sexual partners in the last year, while only 3% of women have been getting that much action.
61% of you say that you are often/sometimes rejected by sexual partners because of your HIV status. That could be one reason that 66% of you said that your diagnosis has made you less confident sexually. And maybe that’s why 68% of you are having less sex since your diagnosis.
Now for the numbers that really count: 47% of you say you’re not getting any on a weekly basis (too bad), while 40% of you say you’re getting some one to two times a week. A lucky 2% of men claim to get it on five times or more a week, while a very lucky 5% of women get it on five times or more a week. You go, girls!
Kiss and tell
Half of you always disclose your HIV status to sexual partners; 40% say it depends on the situation; and 10% say you never kiss and tell. Women are more likely never to disclose than men (13% versus 8%).
28% say you disclose the first time you meet someone; 5% do it before locking lips; 5% before oral sex; 9% before intercourse; and 53% of you say the particulars of the person and the situation dictate when you’ll disclose.
Though 72% of you are on an HIV regimen, only 47% of you think taking meds lowers your risk of transmitting the virus. Thee of little faith: Know that the lower your viral load, the less likely you are to transmit the virus (though you should always protect yourself and your partner).
When it comes to popping pills, men are more likely than women to take meds-73% versus 66%-maybe because more men have been positive longer.
22% of you have never been rejected by a potential sexual partner because of your HIV positive status.
52% of you would rather have sex with a positive person. 42% say it doesn’t matter whether your lover is positive or negative.
Only 6% of those surveyed would rather have sex with someone who is HIV negative-but when you break it down, the numbers are much higher for women than men: 17% for women and 4% for men. Perhaps this is due to women’s desire to have a child and the fact that it’s easier for a woman to have an HIV negative baby with an HIV negative man.
43% say you think about HIV while having sex; 43% say you sometimes do-and 14% of you never have thoughts of HIV on your mind.
10% of you claim to get more sex since your diagnosis. PLEASE tell us your secret!
37% of men always use a condom, while 58% of women always do. 10% of men and women NEVER use a condom.
And when it comes to giving and receiving, twice as many women as men use protection during oral sex.